P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I love having hate sex.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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