And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
