I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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