Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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