I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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