i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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