there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
