can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
