so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
