I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
