Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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