So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
