Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
