is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Welp...herpes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
