she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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