i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
