he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
