Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sorry my hands just texted you
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
