I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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