I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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