let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
