with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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