Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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