I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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