I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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