Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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