I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I still have a little drunk in my system
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
