I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
