did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is it because I queefed?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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