Sry I called you an 8
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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