why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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