sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
