k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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