Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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