SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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