i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
