why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
