i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
