dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
