Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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