Where is the hickey?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
