i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
