OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
