It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
