they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize