Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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