see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
