I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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