I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
