Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
