So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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