Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
