Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
