come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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