So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize