Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
