God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
