yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
