I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
