you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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