1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
