Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
