and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
