Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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