Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
