Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
