3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
