Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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