She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
im on a boat
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