Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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