That's intense
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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