On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
