its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
