Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
