Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
