I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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