when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
