Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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